Breast Milk Chronicles: The Many Benefits of Choosing to Formula Feed
In our third segment of our breast milk series we discuss the truths and myths of formula feeding versus breast milk. You don’t have to go far to find a source shaming moms into breastfeeding when it isn’t their thing. Or perhaps there’s a mom that wants to breastfeed, but can’t. Whatever the reasoning, breastfeeding isn’t the only answer. Formula is amazing, and truly a wonder-food for your baby. Compositionally, formula is the closest to breast milk and best option if you aren’t going to breastfeed. Not only is it a great alternative nutritionally, but formula feeding can also have some great benefits to moms!
Get some time back, Mama
Formula feeding can save moms so much time when they tend to their little ones. Whether it’s nursing or pumping, breastfeeding takes a ton of time!
I remember when I was trying to nurse my guy, my entire day was centered around how I was going to get milk out of me and into him! Between nursing every 3 hours to keep up supply, or pumping when the baby finally went down for a nap, the burden of breastfeeding was constant!
I was determined to pump and provide breastmilk for my baby for as long as possible. But when I realized the stress of constantly pumping was taking me away from my baby, I knew I had to make a change.
I was stressed out, and unable to bond fully with my little one. I was too emotionally exhausted to be present with my little guy during the short breaks between obsessing about breast milk. I knew continuing to breastfeed would be doing more harm than good, so I reluctantly switched to formula feeding. And thank god I did!
Formula feeding saved my sanity, helped me build stronger bonds with my baby and gave back hours of time every day.
Give Dad a turn
I am so lucky to have a supportive partner to raise a child with. When breastfeeding was my ambition, he was “Master Milk Manager”. He took it upon himself to bag the milk and clean the pump parts so I wouldn’t get bogged down with the repetition. He tried to be present in helping however he could with nursing so our baby was fed as quickly and easily as possible. I knew I had his full support the entire journey. So when I went to him and sheepishly asked how he felt about switching to formula feeding, I was surprised with how fine he was with the idea of formula feeding. More than fine, actually. He seemed excited about it.
I guess I should have known he would have been happy to switch to formula. Formula feeding meant no more having to be Master Milk Manager, and less pump parts to wash. More than anything though, it gave him a chance to take a more active part in feeding. Now he could just wake up and feed the little man all on his own. He could have full autonomy over a mealtime and not have to wake me or consult me. Not only that, we could also give our Bean to a grandparent to have a bonding meal with. It spread the love around more, so everyone could cuddle with the little guy and gaze into those beautiful blue eyes. Formula feeding was a freedom I didn’t realize he was craving, and a freedom to me as well. It never really occurred to me that part of the stress of breastfeeding was having everything fall to me.
Sweet Freedom
I always thought that the tax on my body took its major toll in pregnancy and would mostly be over after the baby arrived. After 9-months of growing my little person and finally having him in my arms, I would get to have my body back! Ya, that’s what I thought…
Breastfeeding was a wake-up call in realizing that my body isn’t really my own until we were past that phase. I had to keep taking prenatal vitamins every day. I had to eat certain foods, and avoid eating others. My thirst was unquenchable, and (unlike what I was promised), breastfeeding made me gain weight after Bean was born! Not cool!
Yes, I was able to eat a medium-rare steak again, but I was still told to avoid that glass of red wine so as to keep my baby 100% safe. I was always questioning whether something in my diet was making Bean gassy or uncomfortable. I tried avoiding dairy for a week and avoiding beans for other weeks. Then I started questioning gluten…the list goes on and on. After 9-months of wanting the freedom to eat what I want, drink what I want and have full autonomy of my person again, I realized how much my baby was still relying on my body.
Switching to formula-feeding removed any remaining shackles I had and gave me my body back. I could have a glass of wine again! I didn’t have to avoid dairy anymore. I never had to look questioningly at beans on my plate ever again! My food choices were mine again, and as ridiculous as it may be, that was very freeing.
Be the Best You
Switching to formula had so many benefits. It saved me time during the day, gave my husband and family the chance to feed Bean themselves, and let me have freedom of my diet and body again. All of that is wonderful, but the most important benefit, in my opinion, was that it helped me to be a better mom.
The mental load of always having to provide for my baby wore on me. It was a constant job on top. At the beginning, I was trying to figure out how to take care of a baby on 2-3 hours of sleep each night, while also trying to find time to eat enough and constantly filling my water bottle. Between tending to my new baby, and trying to tend to myself, it’s a lot! As the months went on, I got a bit better at fitting everything into the day that needed to be done, but I was constantly going a mile-a-minute to get it all done. There was no time for anything other than tending to Bean’s needs. Even when he was napping, that was my one chance to squeeze in a pumping session before he woke up.
After months of trying to make it all work, I looked in the mirror and realized I wasn’t the mother I wanted to be. I was so stressed about finding time to pump and going through the motions to get everything done that I was missing what was right in front of me. I wasn’t present with my little guy. I didn’t have “time” to stop and make faces at him or just stare at those beautiful tiny hands.
I ultimately made the decision to switch to formula so I could share that burden with my partner, and be a more present, attentive mother. I have said it before, and I’ll say it again. I am so glad I did. I was able to slow down and read his cues better. I spent time just watching him be a baby and appreciating him little noises. I was in a much better mental space to tackle whatever motherhood threw at me. Not only did it help me be the best mom I could, I was a better partner too. My newfound freedom granted me patience to speak kinder and slower to my partner. Things felt like they “clicked” so much better after switching to formula feeding. It was just what we needed.
Formula: So many choices!
If you are getting excited about the prospect of formula, you may rush out to get some from the store. But how do you get started? I remember standing in front of the wall of formulas at the grocery store, holding my head as I tried to choose blindly between them all and determine which formula would be the best one for my baby.
There are an overwhelming amount of choices out there. Cow milk based, soy based, sensitive formula, European formula, name-brand formula, generic formula…the list goes on and on. A couple of things to note as you make your choice. You will be asked in the hospital if you want to supplement your baby’s nutrition with formula as you wait for your milk to come in. Many families chose to supplement and introduce their baby to formula early on. Most hospitals have standardized on Similac brand formula, so many families standardize their households on Similac as that is what their babies have already tried and seemed to work.
I’ll break the news quickly: Similac is no better or worse than any other milk-based or soy-based formula.
The only reason that “fancy” hospital of yours is offering Similac is because Similac simply won the bid to be the formula of choice for many hospitals. It’s brilliant marketing. They use the logic that, because babies started with Similac, families will continue to buy Similac. And for the most part, they’re right. I know that’s what I did when I started my Bean boy on formula. It’s all just a wonderful marketing strategy to get families to buy more Similac and less of the other brands.
Not to hate on Similac, it’s a great all-around formula. I’m certainly not trying to deter anyone from buying Similac formula. But every formula on that shelf at your store is nutritionally the same and has to meet the same stringent FDA standards to be fed to your baby. Yes, including the generic brand formula.
Just to be clear, you heard me right. That Walmart generic brand of formula is compositionally the same as the brand name formula that is $15 more expensive. The giant BJ’s tin of Berkley & Jensen baby formula is going to help your baby grow just as well as that name brand tin right next to it on the shelf. I don’t mention that because I think everyone should buy out the generic formulas and boycott name brand formulas. I’m just trying to help save a mom some money!
One big benefit of breastfeeding is that it doesn’t cost you as much to feed your baby. (I know some say “breastfeeding is free” but anyone who has bought the breastfeeding pillows, nursing pads, breast pumps, milk bags, and all other nursing accessories knows: Breastfeeding can be expensive!) Getting formula for your baby’s meals adds up in cost! If you want to save some money and try generic, give it a try and see if your baby even notices a difference.
I’m a firm believer in “do what is right for your baby.” Knowledge is power. So, if you are on the fence about trying out a more budget friendly formula with your baby, know that you aren’t giving up anything nutritionally for those cost savings.
